IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, technology plays a vital role in workforce and business communication. The
internet
Use synonyms
 allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 stay connected with
people
Use synonyms
 without face-to-face interaction. I totally support
this
Linking Words
 positive side and
also
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 some negative consequences are being taken into consideration. On the one hand, online working
is save
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and money.
Firstly
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, technology keeps connecting
people
Use synonyms
 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working hours from any location and
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 prevents them from
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to work.
Therefore
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, working online allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 stay home or any
preferrable
Correct word choice
preferred
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 location, and helps to save travel
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 and
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
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 pandemic no one
willing
Add a missing verb
was willing
show examples
 to contact each other and all office work and business
handled
Add a missing verb
were handled
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working with
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the efficiency and effectiveness in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 office setup because of the fast connection between computers and other devices
such
Linking Words
 as main servers, printers and scanners.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is an effective way to communicate with
people
Use synonyms
 in workplaces.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the common disadvantage is there are some health problems that can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 because of the extended period of
time
Use synonyms
 use the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals tend to have vision problems and postural issues which are often associated with the lack of sleep and minimal movements.
This
Linking Words
 may
affected
Change the verb form
affect
be affected
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health and
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 from prolonged pain and fatigue. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 communicate via the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, and I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the support points are it provides efficient service
a d
Correct your spelling
and
 saves money and
time
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly distinguish your main points and provide further elaboration on each point. Some ideas could benefit from additional examples or explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to improve clarity. For instance, phrases like 'to stay connected' should be followed by a subject (e.g., 'people can stay connected').
content
You effectively outline both positive and negative aspects of internet-based communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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