MANY CRIMINALS COMMIT FURTHER CRIMES AS SOON AS THEY RELEASED FROM PRISON. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

It is alleged that significant numbers of offenders who released from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to commit new crimes again.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the main reason for the problem is the poor functioning of rehabilitation
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and the influence of criminal networks. To address these problems, several solutions can be implemented.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
prison
Use synonyms
system should provide prisoners with educational and psychological support to treat their mental health and spiritual distress. If the above problems are not solved, criminals are more likely to commit crimes again.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 1986, the dictator of
Central
Correct article usage
the Central
show examples
African Republic
Jean Bedel
Add a hyphen
Jean-Bedel
show examples
Bokassa was charged by
France
Replace the word
the French
show examples
court
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
cannibalism. Allegedly, he had eaten hundreds of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
including children, women and men body, or
feed
Wrong verb form
fed
show examples
his own beast animals with alive human bodies.
According to
Linking Words
the court decision, he was found guilty and sent to
prison
Use synonyms
. After several years because of the
amnesia
Add a comma
amnesia,
show examples
he could get his freedom back and proceeded
his
Change preposition
with his
show examples
cannibalism again, till his death. If there
was
Wrong verb form
had been
show examples
a rehabilitation service at that time in France, after getting freedom from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
the dictator would not
continue
Wrong verb form
have continued
show examples
his horrible manner like cannibalism and would not have caused the deaths of hundreds of innocent people.
Additionally
Linking Words
, former offenders frequently face significant social and economic barriers, including limited employment opportunities, and unstable housing.
Therefore
Linking Words
, former offenders join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the criminal networks to provide
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their needs. Ultimately, it pushes them to commit a crime again and again. As a solution governments and communities should invest in post-release support programs, including job placement services,
transitional
Correct word choice
and transitional
show examples
housing. In conclusion, by prioritising rehabilitation over punishment,
investing
Correct word choice
and investing
show examples
in post-release services, governments can significantly reduce recidivism rates.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
measures not only benefit the individuals involved but
also
Linking Words
contribute to safer and more cohesive communities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Enhance your main points by providing clearer explanations and elaborations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your ideas with appropriate transition phrases to improve the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Consider structuring your examples in a way that more clearly links them to your main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both causes and solutions effectively, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the idea of rehabilitation over punishment.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: