Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking the for education and constantly facing under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Whether a part-time occupation after study reflects well on a student's performance rather than devoting all time to education, has long been going on a widely debated topic in society.
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becoming a common practice, an additional activity is
nevertheless
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Usage
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of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score. fraught with pitfalls.
This
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essay will try to shed some light on the benefits and drawbacks of being engaged in career experience during the course of studying, before expressing my own point of view with a possible solution to
this
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issue. On the one hand, those considering extra force as fundamental for achieving success in the future have numerous advocates with their weighty arguments. Indeed, it is crucial that individuals be experienced by cultivating new characters, which are highly valued by employers.
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, working engagement is most likely to learn
time-management
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time management
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, responsibility and
communications
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skills, which are by no means adequately covered in university.
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, career overloading is most likely to be a burden on students' academic performance, thereby contributing to concern in society.
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, the position of those regarding a job
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studying as jeopardize for admission pieces of knowledge
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merits every consideration.
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having a positive impact on students'
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proficiency, exercise is hardly likely to gain acceptance by teachers. Those tended to take a rather jaundiced view that admission was able to strike a happy medium between the two areas involved.
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, in the absence of free time for relaxation and recovery, individuals are doomed to failure, thereby resulting in them most likely to find themselves hanging. As far as I am concerned, I share the position of those regarding the industry as detrimental to pupils'
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well-being, thereby exacerbating stress levels. From my perspective, one of the possible solutions is to abandon achievement in favour of study. The importance of bringing high-quality education hardly needs to be emphasized,
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, any attempt experiences are impossible to close the gap between the shortfall of knowledge in the long run. All the above brought me to the conclusion that controversial though the problem may seem, we can not afford to say it defies of solution. Only by prioritizing education under part-time jobs,
this
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issue are susceptible to avoided.

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coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are somewhat difficult to understand due to awkward phrasing and word choice. Try to use clearer language and appropriate vocabulary.
task achievement
You should provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help strengthen your argument and demonstrate a clearer understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using connecting words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for a well-organized essay.
task achievement
You raised relevant points about the pressures faced by students who work while studying, which is central to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial burden
  • tuition fees
  • part-time jobs
  • stress levels
  • work experience
  • balance work and study
  • flexible study schedules
  • financial aid packages
  • scholarships
  • internships
  • academic schedules
  • fields of study
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