Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

These days, overseas travel is getting popular in all countries. Many people, especially youngsters, like to spend a lot of time travelling in hard
places
.
However
, there are both pros and cons to doing
this
. In
this
essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why travelling
places
are getting popular and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of travelling. One of the main positives of travelling is broadens your horizons. What I mean by
this
is that you have to overcome very difficult things
such
as walking long distances, going to the correct destination without being lost, a wizard, a very hot and cold temperature, and so on by yourself.
Secondly
, after people have that kind of travel successfully, they could be a more strong-minded person than before.
In addition
, by travelling the
places
, visitors may help to make the
places
popular for others. Turning to the other side of the argument, some visitors who do not have enough experience, have the danger of being badly hurt or even some of them may pass away in the
places
.
For instance
, around four to five travellers die when they try to climb Everest every year. Another issue is that more people go to the
places
, there would be more rubbish on the ground.
For example
, 1.3 billion tons of waste, between four and eight per cent of global waste, is produced each year solely by tourists
according to
The United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP). All things considered, travelling in
such
a place is never easy. There are pros of broadening the horizon, increasing mind capabilities, and cons of hurting or even dying overseas. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of personal growth eventually outweigh any negatives.
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on

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Structure
When discussing advantages and disadvantages, ensure the argument structure is balanced. You might want to expand on both sides equally to maintain coherence.
Transitions
Consider using more varied transitions to link ideas smoothly between sections. Phrases like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Furthermore' can enhance readability.
Word Choice
Pay attention to the accuracy of expressions and avoid unconventional phrases (e.g., 'a wizard') that might confuse readers. Aim for clear and precise language.
Examples
To further support your points, include a wider range of examples. This can improve the depth of your analysis.
Grammar
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Balance
You've made a clear attempt to address both the benefits and disadvantages, providing a well-rounded view.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reflects a considered opinion on the topic.
Use of Evidence
Introduction of relevant statistics (e.g., waste produced by tourists) adds a layer of credibility to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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