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Band 4.5

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Public concern regarding offline learning
system
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systems
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 in educational institutions is becoming topical since some people argue that
this
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 activity has more positive impacts than studying at home. To respond
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this
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to this
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 issue, I do disagree with the aforementioned issue because studying from home is beneficial for
students
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due to
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students
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’ greater performance. Gaining knowledge at school will give positive development in maintaining
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students
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students'
student's
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 focus on materials.
This
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 is because teachers have
responsibility
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a responsibility
the responsibility
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 to give attention to their class in the whole learning activities.
Therefore
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, children can be monitored all the
time
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 from
unecesary
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unnecessary
 actions,
such
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 as eating, playing games, or chatting with friends.
However
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,
this
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 argument is
misunderstanding
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misunderstood
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 as pupils’ focus
are
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is
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 not affected by the
present
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presence
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 of their teachers and they still try to do
the
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apply
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bad actions
while
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 studying, like scrolling social media
secreatly
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secretly
. Turning to learning online, teaching
class
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classes
show examples
 online will give advantages to academic performance and efficiency.
Firstly
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,
students
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 accessing materials and finishing
works
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work
show examples
 from their houses have no mental issues related to
the
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apply
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bullying or stress.
Thus
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, all materials can be absorbed
with
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apply
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them
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apply
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easily
due to
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high
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the high
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 focus on the subjects. Taking Japan as one example, applying virtual learning in some cities in 2008 improved the average level of
students
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’
score
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scores
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 from 80 to 88.
This
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 is an
evident
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evidence
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 that e-learning
enhance
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enhances
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 the level of education in one country.
In addition
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, preventing
students
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 from getting
trafic
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traffic
 congestion will provide
time
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 efficiency. They have more
time
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 for
practicing
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practising
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 remote educational actions and not being trapped
at
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in
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 the hustle and bustle
roads
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of roads
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 can add
time
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 for them to read more science books or to finish
quizez
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quiz
quizzes
 which were given from the previous section.
To sum up
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, even though conventional activities give some benefits, Web-based learning is more convincing since
this
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enable
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enables
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students
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 to improve their academic reports and gain
effeciency
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efficiency
.

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task achievement
Clarify your introduction to clearly express your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs have clear topic sentences to improve flow and coherence.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, which will enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Review spelling and grammatical accuracy to strengthen readability and professionalism.
task achievement
You provide a clear stance on the argument and maintain your position throughout the essay.
task achievement
The use of an example from Japan is effective in illustrating your point about online learning benefits.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaborative learning
  • Debate
  • Discipline
  • Engagement
  • Feedback loop
  • Peer support
  • Educational resources
  • Adaptive learning
  • Self-motivation
  • Independent study
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual classroom
  • Accessibility
  • E-learning
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