IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Young people are increasingly choosing to eliminate meat from their diets and become vegetarians. Do you think this is a good idea? Does it bring more benfits or drawbacks? write an essay of 200-250 words

Notably, more and more young people
are give
Change the verb form
are giving
show examples
 up eating
meat
Use synonyms
 on account of consuming more
vegatebles
Correct your spelling
vegetables
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they choose
Correct article usage
a vegeterian
show examples
vegeterian lifstyle
Correct your spelling
vegetarian lifestyle
. I do not support
this
Linking Words
 trend,
thus
Linking Words
 I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 humans need
aniamls
Correct your spelling
animal
animals
 proteins.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
mass
Correct article usage
the mass
show examples
producition
Correct your spelling
production
 of vegetables and fruits is
harmuful
Correct your spelling
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to explain my point of you by
duscussing
Correct your spelling
discussing
 in
deepth
Correct your spelling
depth
provided
Correct article usage
the provided
show examples
 ideas.
Frstly
Correct your spelling
First
, proteins and minerals that are in
meat
Use synonyms
, are better digestible for humans' bodies. Animals
such
Linking Words
 as cows or chickens
are biologically build
Change the verb form
are biologically built
show examples
Correct word choice
and similar
show examples
similar
Change the word
similarly
show examples
 to people
due to
Linking Words
 their
meat
Use synonyms
containes
Correct your spelling
containing
 higher quality
nutriens
Correct your spelling
nutrients
nutrient
 than plants. Take vitamin D
for instance
Linking Words
, every vegan is
recomended
Correct your spelling
recommended
 to supplement
this
Linking Words
 vitamin by
a doctors
Correct the article-noun agreement
a doctor
doctors
show examples
. Regardless,
well-balanced
Correct article usage
a well-balanced
show examples
 and
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
Use synonyms
meat less
Correct your spelling
meatless
show examples
 diet,
deficienty
Correct your spelling
deficiency
 of
vitamn
Correct your spelling
vitamin
 D still can occur. On account
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that, I do not
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that our bodies can
funcition
Correct your spelling
function
 fully
proper
Change the word
properly
show examples
 without animal proteins.
Besides
Linking Words
 the
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 issues,
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
 diet can cause
charm
Correct your spelling
harm
show examples
 to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. To produce
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
vegatebles
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 and fruits, to feed
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
populaton
Correct your spelling
population
, we need to have a lot of fields.
Due to
Linking Words
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the ground, deforestation needs to occur. Taking avocado plantations as
example
Add an article
an example
show examples
, a lot of tropical forests were
destryed
Correct your spelling
destroyed
 in order to grow popular
avocado
Fix the agreement mistake
avocados
show examples
.
Tropicals
Change the noun form
Tropical
show examples
 regions are called lungs of the earth, as they produce big
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of oxygen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that eating
meat
Use synonyms
holding
Wrong verb form
holds
show examples
 less
inpact
Correct your spelling
impact
 on our natural environment.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 my point of view,
vegan
Correct article usage
a vegan
show examples
 or vegetarian diet cause damage to humans' health and
moreover
Linking Words
 to planet Earth.
Nutriens
Correct your spelling
Nutrients
 from animals are more beneficial for
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 bodies and producing
meat
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not need as
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 fields as producing vegetables.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly linked and flow logically from one to another. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to include a stronger conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your opinion clearly. A well-defined conclusion ties the essay together.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you can discuss other plant-based nutrients that are beneficial or give statistics on meat consumption.
general
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy. Check for typos and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving your introduction by stating the topic more clearly and mentioning both the benefits and drawbacks before taking a stance.
task achievement
You have presented a clear argument against the vegetarian lifestyle, which shows your ability to express your viewpoint.
task achievement
You demonstrated an understanding of the nutritional aspects of diets, which is relevant and adds depth to your essay.
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