IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that alcohol should be considered as a drug and made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
Linking Words
 21st century, consumption of
alcohol
Use synonyms
 has increased dramatically from past years. Few individuals think that
alcohol
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 should be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a drug and made illegal. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement but
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
 some extent and will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the following essay. On the one hand, people have started drinking liquor in their daily lives.
This
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 is creating many
health
Use synonyms
 problems which are difficult to cure. To elaborate, human beings used to drink beer,
wine
Correct word choice
and wine
show examples
 in past at some occasions
such
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 as parties or weddings.
Whereas
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, nowadays they started consuming it every day
for getting
Change preposition
to get
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 relief from their stressful life. But
this
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 is not good for their
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, consuming it every day can make blood
as well as
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 liver fatty and
this
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 can affect
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 kidneys. These issues are hard to solve in future when people start having pain in their
stomach
Fix the agreement mistake
stomachs
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.
Hence
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, for making lives easier authorities should consider beverages as drugs.
For example
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, on 15 May 2025 in Amritsar Punjab, more than 20 folks lost their lives after consuming highly toxic drinks.
On the other hand
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, if any drinking beverages
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 used in a correct or proper way they are not harmful. To illustrate, doctors have tackled various medical issues with the help of liquor. By adding
alcohol
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
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 medicines experts have proved that they are not dangerous to
health
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. Every individual who is taking medicine is consuming certain amounts of
alcohol
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.
Furthermore
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, more than fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of every medicine is made from different types of drugs.
For instance
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, painkillers and cough syrups contain more than 70% of
alcohol
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. These
all
Add a missing verb
are all
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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used by experts to cure the illness. It is recommended by many doctors if people have very bad or longdue cough it can be cured through ram shots and
this
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 is used by several folks.
To conclude
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, consuming alcoholic beverages regularly is dangerous for
health
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. It can
results
Change the verb form
result
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 severe stomach pain.
However
Linking Words
, wine is used by doctors in various medicines to treat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 problems.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer argument in support of your position. You mention that you agree with the statement to some extent, but it would be helpful to specify what that extent is and how that influences your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and that those points are clearly connected. For example, discuss the negative impacts of alcohol in one paragraph and the medicinal uses in another, linking them more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the overall sophistication of the essay. This will also help to better express the nuances of your argument.
content
You effectively highlighted the health risks associated with excessive alcohol consumption, demonstrating awareness of the topic's implications.
content
Your use of examples, particularly the anecdote about the incident in Amritsar, shows an effort to provide evidence to support your points.
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