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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show changes of a cinema from 1980 until now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show changes of a cinema from 1980 until now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram bottom illustrates the transformation of
big
Add an article
the big
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 screen from 1980 until nowadays.
Overall
Linking Words
, the movie house developed dramatically. Several of them were relocated,
while
Linking Words
 some places remain untouched over these years. In 1980, the big screen had only two screenings,
cinema
Use synonyms
 1 and
cinema
Use synonyms
 2. These were located in the bottom left, next to the entrance and the second was on the right corner,near to the car park, which was opposite to the access on the north side. To the left of
Cinema2
Correct your spelling
Cinema 2
,there was a toilet. The avenue was on the below, leading to a ticket booth and drink section. By now, there were built new cinemas, nowadays their total quantity is 5. The car park was completely demolished and changed with a new movie
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 3.
Moreover
Linking Words
, film 2 was relocated
instead
Linking Words
 of the previous car park. The toilet was surrounded by cinemas, to the right side of new cinemas 4 and 5, and on the bottom first
cinema
Use synonyms
,which was
also
Linking Words
 relocated and became closer to the toilet. Free Square after relocating movie theater 1, was established on the modernized food and drink section and relaxation room. In place of the refreshment area was
developed
Correct article usage
a developed
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 DVD shop.The ticket booth and entrance remain unchanged for the given period.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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