IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachera particularly in secondary school. Whar are the reasons for this and how could the problems be sloved?

A generation ago, teaching was the most popular and well-respected job in some countries, and still, it is true.
However
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, many people are not interested in teaching in secondary schools
due to
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 low salaries, work burdens, and pupils disobeying them. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the reasons and solutions to the problems. The first main reason is that they get less salary.
For instance
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, in the UK, a doctor gets a well-paid salary than a teacher with the same years of experience. It shows that a field in medicine and law gets higher pay. The solution is that the government should make a rule to get higher salaries
according to
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 their experience and capacity. The second reason is that they do not get any respect from their students. They misbehave with their
teachers
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.
For instance
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, when a teacher gave them an assignment, they did not complete it and just spoke lies that they forgot their homework copy at home.
As a result
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,
teachers
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 feel disobeyed by their pupils. To control
this
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 issue, parents play an important role in helping to do homework, and they must teach their children to respect elders and
teachers
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 and to obey the rules made by tutors. The third reason is that they have a work burden It impacts their family life, and they have to do paperwork and marking in the evening.
Hence
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, they feel stressed and do not like their profession. To overcome those problems, principals should provide assistant
teachers
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 to those who have an overload period. They must provide extra leisure time to relax and check the copies of the students. In conclusion, people do not like teaching professionals because of the overload of work, low salary and misbehaviour by the students. I believe that the government should make strict rules for the
teachers
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 to get leisure time and higher pay
according to
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 their experience and capacity.

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introduction
The introduction generally sets the context but could be more engaging. Strengthing the thesis statement could help clarify the essay's focus.
cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
While the main points are clear, each point could be expanded with more specific examples or data to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and identifies key reasons for a decline in interest in teaching, along with potential solutions.
coherence
There is a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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