It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Mostly, the
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habits
Fix the agreement mistake
habit
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to save
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of saving
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our
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apply
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money
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is one of the wisdom that we got from our parents, relatives, and teachers. They argue that saving
money
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for our future is critical for everyone, including teenagers. Some people,
however
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, insist
that is
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not
a
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apply
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mandatory for teenagers to save their
money
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, I firmly believe that preserving
that
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those
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habits
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will give some benefits. There are proposals said that we should not save our
money
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, especially when we are still in
a young ages
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a young age
young ages
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. At least, there are two arguments.
Firstly
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, as a teenager, we still have a lot of
times
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time
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with our primary health conditions,
hence
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we should
enjoying
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enjoy
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our
life
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by travelling to unknown places or making
a
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apply
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cullinary
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culinary
trips in order to buy various experiences.
Secondly
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, we could seize the days by
buidling
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building
connections with peers and experienced people.
This
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opportunity can be done by inviting them to have
a
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apply
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lunch or dinner together,
hence
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we can start a meaningful with our friends and create
a fruitful discussions
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a fruitful discussion
fruitful discussions
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with seniors in order to get their
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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and
wisdoms
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wisdom
pearls of wisdom
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about
life
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, education, career, and even romance things.
On the other hand
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, I agree that we should save our
money
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to have a better future, with three proposals.
Firstly
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, it is important for us, including young ages to have
an
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apply
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emergency funds.
This
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money
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are
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is
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used as a safety net when we are facing hard times.
Secondly
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, when we build
habits
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to save
money
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, it is easier for us to buy more important things in the future,
such
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as houses, cars, and insurance to
fullfill
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fulfil
our basic needs.
Last
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but not least, saving our
money
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is important for us to prepare
into
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for
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the next stages of our
life
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,
such
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as to get married. All in all, even though there are some arguments
said
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saying
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that we should spend our
money
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for various reasons, I am pretty sure that having
a good saving
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a good saving habit
good saving habits
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habits
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will increase our quality of
life
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in the
futures
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future
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure you thoroughly elaborate on your ideas with specific examples to add depth to your arguments.
grammar and vocabulary
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary usage, as this can affect the clarity of your ideas.
task response
Your essay presents a balanced view with arguments for both sides of the topic, which is commendable.
task response
You have a clear opinion stated in the introduction, which is a good practice for IELTS writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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