A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, the trend for lookism has increased. Nowadays
people
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tend to judge everyone not for their personality but for their appearance and status. I totally agree with
this
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statement.
This
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essay will analyze
this
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phenomenon and provide relevant examples from my own experience. Back in the old days,
people
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appreciated values,
such
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as kindness, honour and bravery. Back
then
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people
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were more interested in the inner
world
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of the individuals rather than their appearance.
As a result
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of that, the love they experienced was filled with true feelings and passion for each other.
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, many popular romance books were written in the past, because they could truly describe the feeling of love.
However
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, in today's fast-paced
world
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, a person's worth is judged by how much money they have and how beautiful they are.
This
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phenomenon is called Lookism. Nowadays
people
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are more interested in the material possessions of individuals than their inner
world
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. Because of that, there are many cases of domestic violence in the current
world
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. Individuals choose their partners not for how good their connection is but for how much money they have and how famous they are.
For example
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, recent research has revealed that over the past few years, the incidence of domestic violence has increased. In 2001, the percentage of domestic abuse cases was 9%,
whereas
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currently it is 21%. In conclusion, I believe that today's values are distorted versions of the old ones
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and that we should start loving each other not for our possessions, but for our personalities—just like in the old days.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the main idea clearly, but try to paraphrase the prompt more distinctively to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The examples you provided are relevant, but try to elaborate on them more to strengthen your arguments and provide a stronger connection to your main points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but consider using more varied linking words to enhance coherence between paragraphs and within sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is clear, but aim to summarize the key points you made in your essay rather than just repeating ideas. This will reinforce your main argument.
task achievement
You effectively introduced the topic and stated your position clearly in the introduction.
task achievement
The examples from your personal perspective add authenticity to your argument and demonstrate your engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained a clear focus on the theme of lookism throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
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