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Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
Nowadays,
science
 has a significant effect on people’s lifestyles and provides wide facilities, some people believe that the aim of
science
 should just be to improve people’s lives. In
this
 essay, we will discuss
this
 point of view. I agree with
this
 opinion and I think
science
 should be to increase people’s quality of life in many cases. First of all,
Science
 affects many aspects of life,
such
 as medicine, weather, technology, and more. One of the most important areas is medicine, which is essential for the health of humans and animals.
Science
 can help us improve medicine in many ways.
For example
,
science
 helps doctors learn about diseases and find new ways to treat them.
Science
also
 helps us diagnose diseases faster by using advanced tools and machines,
such
 as blood tests and MRI scans.
Furthermore
,
Science
 has made a lot of progress in how we talk and make
things
.
For example
, the Internet is something that
science
 made. It changed how we get information, talk, and do business. It
also
 made it possible for us to learn, meet people from different places, and learn about their cultures. Smartphones and other
things
 that
science
 made are changing very fast. They help us get information,
things
, and friends easily and make our lives better. To end,
science
 has many benefits for us. It helps us discover and create new
things
. It helps us improve our health, our technology, and our environment. It helps us make the world a better place for everyone.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the organization of your essay by clearly delineating paragraphs with specific subtopics. Each paragraph should open with a topic sentence that clearly states its main idea, followed by evidence and examples to support it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the introduction and conclusion sections. The introduction should clearly state your stance on the topic along with a brief outline of the main points you will discuss. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments and restate your position, ensuring it reflects back on the essay's contents.
Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses the prompt. This involves developing a clear position throughout the essay and substantiating it with well-elaborated arguments and pertinent examples. It's essential to critically engage with the topic by not only presenting information but also demonstrating analysis and evaluation of the ideas discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of language structures and vocabulary to clearly express nuanced ideas and arguments. Avoid repetition by employing synonyms and complex sentence structures. This will not only enhance the readability of your essay but also demonstrate your language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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