IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below show the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 dan 2005.

The graph shows the data about how many
museum
Use synonyms
 visitors in three countries over the period in question. Generally, the National
Museum
Use synonyms
 in China experienced a consistent increase
while
Linking Words
 both museums MET and Edo saw a gradual fluctuation. Looking at the details, regarding the National
Museum
Use synonyms
 in China, it began at 6
million
Use synonyms
 people in 2000 and went up consistently, finishing at around 15
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. If we look at the Edo
Museum
Use synonyms
 in Tokyo, the trend is different. Having remained stable at approximately 13
million
Use synonyms
 in the first two-year period, the number dipped sharply to around six
million
Use synonyms
 in 2003. There was
then
Linking Words
 a gradual rise to around 10
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
Similarly
Linking Words
 MET
Museum
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 shows a fluctuating number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 visitors. The figure started at 12
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 plunged dramatically to six
million
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and there was a moderate recovery to around 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2003. After that, the number of visitors considerably doubled to 14
million
Use synonyms
 tourists in 2005.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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