IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

In some countries,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population growth causes
decreasing
Add an article
the decreasing
a decreasing
show examples
 amount of natural places. Protecting these areas is very essential for the population's health and
also
Linking Words
 economic development. To solve that problem, there are some practical solutions
such
Linking Words
 as establishing protected reserves and implementing restricted rules.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
nature
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in humans' mental health and personal well-being. In order to escape from the high level of stress of their busy life, especially in urban areas, people visit green zones for resting. It gives them an area, where they can get their energy back thanks to clean air and
calm
Correct article usage
a calm
show examples
 environment. It is one of the main goals of the
governments
Use synonyms
 to provide
such
Linking Words
 places and protect
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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 beauty there.
For example
Linking Words
, in Scandinavian Countries like Norway and
Correct your spelling
Sweden
show examples
Sweeden
Add a comma
Sweeden,
show examples
 it is prohibited
that
Change preposition
to
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cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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any trees for the purpose of building a facility.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, saving wilderness is important to appeal
visitors
Change preposition
to visitors
show examples
 which
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 a lot of money to the
Use synonyms
governments'
Change noun form
government's
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 budget,
in addition
Linking Words
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to increase the state's popularity. One of the main reasons for visiting any country is
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
 and these travels take
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 place in
Use synonyms
governments'
Correct article usage
the governments'
show examples
 economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, 36% of
Correct article usage
the incomes
show examples
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 of New Zealand, which is one of the most visited
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 green forests, great mountains and islands in the world,
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from tourism.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for the aim of saving natural beauty,
governments
Use synonyms
 have to take necessary steps like creating protected zones and punishing those who break the rules about the safety of
nature
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Azerbaijan, there are some places like "Qarayazi" and "Goy Gol" State Reserves, where wild
nature
Use synonyms
 is protected from the potential harm of people
such
Linking Words
 as pollution, illegal hunting and so on. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
popoulation
Correct your spelling
population
 leads
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 destruction in
nature
Use synonyms
,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should focus on taking
safe
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these areas to provide civilization
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
better life,
Linking Words
moreover
Correct word choice
and moreover
show examples
, to develop the economy.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly delineate your main ideas and properly introduce each paragraph to improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Try to include more detailed or specific examples to better support your arguments. This will strengthen your points significantly.
task achievement
Be careful with minor spelling and grammatical inaccuracies, as they can detract from the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the topic by discussing both the benefits of protecting natural places and potential solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay's structure is organized with clear paragraphs representing different ideas, which is beneficial for readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • eco-tourism
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • stress relief
  • educational programs
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • climate change
  • carbon absorption
  • sustainable development
  • local economies
  • rehabilitation of ecosystems
  • natural habitats
What to do next:
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