IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century.

Nowadays there are a lot of
tendences
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tendencies
in building
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to build
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 new houses as modern technology gives
this
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 opportunity. Some
people
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 think that
this
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 trend is good and important. I do not agree with the popularisation of all these
buildings
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.
Firstly
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, these
buildings
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 look typical and similar to each other
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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makes
Wrong verb form
making
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 all the cities look the same. That’s why the individuality of cities and whole countries disappears. I believe that with the loss of
culture
Add a comma
culture,
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people
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 are going to lose their identity, creativity, and interest in life.
For example
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, there are lots of dystopian books that show how
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sameness makes
people
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 unthinking and weak-willed. In
such
Linking Words
 societies,
people
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 no longer express themselves or value differences, which leads to emotional and intellectual stagnation.
This
Linking Words
 connection between architecture and cultural depth should not be underestimated.
Secondly
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, modern architecture requires worse materials than ones that were built earlier. All new
buildings
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 have many plastic elements. Creating these materials and using them is really toxic and harmful
for
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to
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people
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 and nature.Traditional materials like stone, brick, and wood have proven to be not only more durable but
also
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 more aesthetically pleasing and eco-friendly.
In addition
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, new technologies for building houses are very unreliable and uncomfortable to live in.
For example
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, most
people
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 prefer to live in their own houses, in quiet districts, rather than in skyscrapers. In conclusion, modern architecture contributes to the loss of cultural identity and makes
people
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's lives less comfortable. Creating unique
buildings
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 is very important nowadays.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by addressing the benefits of modern architecture, even if you disagree with it.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly connect back to your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and engagement of the essay.
task achievement
Your argument about the impact of modern architecture on cultural identity is well-articulated and thought-provoking.
task achievement
You have effectively used examples to support your points, particularly regarding materials and living preferences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern architecture
  • aesthetics
  • eco-friendly designs
  • sustainable materials
  • visual appeal
  • iconic landmarks
  • community interaction
  • urban planning
  • cultural heritage
  • urban vibrancy
  • functional design
  • skyscrapers
  • public spaces
  • historical buildings
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