IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

styding with a group of students in classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home . To what extant do you agree or disagree ?

It's been argued that the formal way of teaching is more effective than taking classes on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 at home. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine both views and explain why I support the idea that classroom learning is more beneficial. On the one hand, the learning process is not just about receiving information , It's a lot more. To clarify, it is fundamental that the students get their
feedbacks
Change the noun form
feedback
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 face-to-face with the teacher.
This
Linking Words
 will help them improve and gain confidence.
Furthermore
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, every student has different abilities. When they are all under one roof,
this
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 will
make
Verb problem
help
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 them build their social skills and
also
Linking Words
 relationships with one another.
For example
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, in Europe, particularly in Germany, children's social skills are not the same after the online learning in Corona pandemic. It was weaker, based on
BBC
Correct article usage
the BBC
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 newspaper.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 online learning has its advantages, it cannot outweigh the basic learning method. The internet classes are easy to attend, but not every student will be there, and
that is
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 because some families don't have enough money to buy laptops, iPads, or even smartphones for their children.
In addition
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 to that,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online studying is weaker on the
feedbacks
Change the noun form
feedback
show examples
 side for the students.
For instance
Linking Words
, in COVID-19, when learning was online, a lot of students dropped out of school
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of internet access specifically, in India. In conclusion,
although
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 both views have merits, I believe that studying in classrooms is more effective in so many ways than online learning.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the clarity of your main arguments by using more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure consistency in your language and framing of arguments. For example, using 'classroom learning' instead of switching between 'formal way of teaching' and 'classroom learning' could enhance clarity.
task achievement
In your examples, elaborate a bit more on the impact of social skills deficits experienced during online learning to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
When discussing the drawbacks of online learning, you could strengthen your point by mentioning possible solutions to these issues, which would provide a more comprehensive view.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main points you plan to discuss, which is great for setting up your essay.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, particularly in illustrating the impact of online learning during the pandemic, which is effective for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaborative learning
  • Debate
  • Discipline
  • Engagement
  • Feedback loop
  • Peer support
  • Educational resources
  • Adaptive learning
  • Self-motivation
  • Independent study
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual classroom
  • Accessibility
  • E-learning
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