Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Independency has shaped the modern era and some people claim that teenagers have the
right
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to choose their peers and partners
while
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others believe that their
parent
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parents
show examples
must be
ivolved
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involved
in their decisions. From my perspective, children
not
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are not
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obligated to follow their
parent
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parents
show examples
choice
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choices
show examples
and they must have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both views and state my opinion. On the one hand, some parents
calim
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claim
that when they control their children's choices
regrading
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regarding
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their peers and
futuer
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future
partner they can keep them away from being hurt.
For example
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, parents believe that they have the wisdom and insight to choose the
right
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friend for their kid. To some extent that true because parents have
different
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a different
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point
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points
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of view when it
is comes
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comes
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to friends and life
partner
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partners
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.
However
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when the family consistently interferes
the
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with the
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child's personal
matter
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matters
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they take away from them the opportunity to learn how to be independent, that
why
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is why
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I believe they should be free to
chose
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choose
show examples
their personal connections.
On the other hand
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, if teenagers have the freedom to be in a relationship with whom they love it will give them the responsibility of their
life's
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lives
show examples
. The child must learn how to choose the
right
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person.
In other words
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, children at school should learn how to build
relationship
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relationships
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with
a
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apply
show examples
friend
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friends
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who have the same manners and goals as them so they can have a healthy relationship. The same in choosing the person they want to get married
with
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to
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.
Thats
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That
why I agree that the family should give their kids the chance to learn and discover other people's
perspective
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perspectives
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as well as
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choose
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
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the
right
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for them.
To sum up
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, families have the
right
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to worry about their
kid's
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kids'
show examples
relations,
however
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, I think that they should give them the responsibility of their lives and let them
to
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apply
show examples
have their own
experience
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experiences
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in life.

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Task Achievement
Clearly articulate your opinion in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. Make sure to state your stance on the topic clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas across sentences and paragraphs, which would improve cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread to correct small grammatical inaccuracies and typos, including word forms and punctuation, to improve overall clarity.
Task Achievement
You have a clear argument and discuss both views, which is essential for the task.
Task Achievement
Your examples about learning through experience highlight key points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Influence
  • Decision-making
  • Life experience
  • Cultural values
  • Family approval
  • Independence
  • Personal connections
  • Mutual respect
  • Interpersonal skills
  • External interference
  • Mental well-being
  • Negative influences
  • Navigate
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