IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main fitures and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main fitures and make comparisons where relevant
The three maps illustrate how the West
Use synonyms
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 at secondary schools has changed through the
pireod
Correct your spelling
period
 from 1950 to 2010. highlighting key developments in its layout and
infrastraction
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
West
Park
Use synonyms
 has undergone
noticeable
Add an article
a noticeable
show examples
 transformation, with the
removel
Correct your spelling
removal
 or
replacment
Correct your spelling
replacement
 of some original structures. In the first map in
1950
Add a comma
1950,
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 the north side included houses and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, which were either completely removed or replaced in the second map in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1980. A major change was the construction of
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 and science block, transforming the space of houses considerably.
In addition
Linking Words
, the north side
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shows some transformation
such
Linking Words
 as the farmland
repleced
Correct your spelling
replaced
 with the sports field,
while
Linking Words
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
show examples
 untouched
of
Change preposition
by
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 the north side was redesigned to make room for these new additions and improve accessibility.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the south area
also
Linking Words
 witnessed notable changes in 2010. The original car
park
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced substantial
expinder
Correct your spelling
expander
expanded
to
Change preposition
in
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duble
Correct your spelling
double
 size
while
Linking Words
 the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 field has been reduced in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
size compared to the past. ultimately,
this
Linking Words
 section experienced a combination of removal, redevelopment, and improved organization to enhance the functionality of the area.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • changes
  • construction
  • layout
  • expansions
  • renovations
  • facilities
  • capacity
  • resources
  • educational priorities
  • student population
  • community needs
  • descriptive
  • overview
  • comparison
  • significant
  • timeline
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