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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people argue that
boys
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 and
girls
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 learn more effectively when taught separately, and believe that they have more and more advantages when they study in a mixed
environment
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.
This
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 essay will examine both views and explain why I lean towards the latter. On the one hand, there are two reasons why most humans feel that
boys
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 and
girls
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 should be single-gender. The first is one tailored teaching approach. The majority of
boys
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 tend to favour rigorous science and quantitative subjects,
for instance
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, math, physics, and chemistry. Their research often focuses on electronic devices or the creation of new chemical compounds.
Girls
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 will have a strong aptitude for subjects like literature and history. They frequently enjoy researching the historical development of the country through different eras and understanding the core essence of literary works. Another reason is the outdoor
environment
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. The boy enjoys playing intense sports
such
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 as football, and badminton.
Also
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, they
also
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 like to play mind-based games,
for example
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, chess.
However
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, the girl prefers gentler activities like cooking and flower arranging than other activities.
On the other hand
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, I side with those who think that children should be studying in an
environment
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.
First,
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beyond the fact that the majority of
boys
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 prefer or perform well in science and mathematics, there are
also
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 many
girls
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 who achieve multiple accolades in Math and Physics Olympiads.
Besides
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, there are many high achievements which almost all people argue are only the girl's accomplishments. Another thing is that, nowadays, It's not just
boys
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 who enjoy playing soccer and badminton;
girls
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also
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 play exceptionally well and have many achievements.
Conversely
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, it's not only
girls
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 who know how to cook and play musical instruments;
boys
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 can do these things too. We have many male master chefs, and there are
girls
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 who have achieved outstanding results in sports,
such
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 as swimmer Nguyen Thi Anh Vien. In conclusion,
although
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 some people say that men and women should study in a separate
environment
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, I am of the opinion that children need to be improved in a mixed school.

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task achievement
The introduction could be more concise and clear about your own stance. Make sure to explicitly state your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that are well linked.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points about the benefits of mixed schools. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence variety to enhance the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You provide some specific examples that illustrate your points, particularly regarding achievements in sports and academics.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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