IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are problems with this and you find it difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter describe the situation explain the problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Dear Mr. Hopkins, I am currently accommodated at Link Hall (
Room
Use synonyms
 8B) where I share a
room
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 with another student.
Although
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 I am very happy with the accommodation itself, I find that it is becoming impossible to live with my current
Use synonyms
room-mate
Correct your spelling
roommate
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. There are two main issues. First of all, she enjoys playing music at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 volume.
This
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 is something that I and the students in the neighbouring rooms have asked her not to do, but she is determined and ignores our requests. The second problem is that she often invites people to our
room
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 late in the evening. Again, I have asked her not to do
this
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, but she continues to do it anyway. Obviously, these two problems are making it almost impossible to study. At the moment, I am forced to work in the library which is not always convenient.
Besides
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, the rent agreement for college accommodation clearly states that students must refrain from making too much noise and not have visitors late in the evenings. If it is not possible to move my
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room-mate
Correct your spelling
roommate
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 out,
then
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 I would like to request similar accommodation to that at Link Hall. I don’t mind sharing, but if a single
room
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 is available, I would prefer that. I look forward to your reply. Yours sincerely, Lisa Willis

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task achievement
Consider adding a brief introduction that outlines the purpose of the letter, such as 'I am writing to express my concerns regarding my current living situation.' This will help clarify the intention of the letter from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
While the points made are clear, you could enhance the flow of the letter by using transition phrases, such as 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally,' to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is well-structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the situation. This greatly aids readability and understanding.
task achievement
The tone is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for a formal letter to an accommodation officer, demonstrating a good understanding of the required writing style.
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