In some countries the average weight of people is increasiong and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? You should write 250 words.

The citizens of several nations are
experincing
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experiencing
high
level
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levels
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of obesity
while
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the focus on
health
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and
fitness
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are
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is
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sinking below the belt. The research
suggest
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suggests
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealthy eating habits
is
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are
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a primary cause of obesity and to resolve
this
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issue
govenment
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government
should introduce new policies and
awarness
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awareness
program
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programs
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to educate
public
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the public
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about
fitness
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. The rising level of average weight is
due to
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the
consumption
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of unhealthy
diet
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diets
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such
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as junk
food
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from fast
food
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chain
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chains
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, soft drinks and
food
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items
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containing high levels of sugar . These types of
food
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items
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have high levels of cholesterol, fats, and calories, resulting in the accumulation of fat inside the body. The regular
consumption
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of these types of
food
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leads to fatness. To resolve
this
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issue, the governments should play an active role by increasing taxes on
food
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items
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that are
Correct article usage
the primary
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primary
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primarily
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caused
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cause
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of
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by
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obesity, making it
expernsive
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expensive
which could
decreses
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decrease
decreases
the sales of these
items
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.
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Additionally
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Additionally,
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they should introduce a tax rebate for the business focusing on
health
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and
fitness
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to encourage the growth of
such
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ventures.
Moreover
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, the government should introduce
awarness
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awareness
campaign
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campaigns
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and programs to educate citizens about the significance of
health
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and
fitness
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. In conclusion, the increase in average weight in many countries is
due to
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the
consumption
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of
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food
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foods
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that are high in cholesterol, fats, and calories that accumulate fat in the body mass causing fatness. To resolve
this
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situation
the
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apply
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governments should introduce strict rules and regulations to regulate
the
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apply
show examples
consumption
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and promote education programs to bring
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
about
health
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and
fitness
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but you could improve logical flow by outlining the causes more clearly and ensuring each paragraph has a distinct focus.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or statistics to support your points about unhealthy eating habits and the effectiveness of government measures. This will enhance your arguments and provide more depth.
language accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'experincing' should be 'experiencing', 'govenment' to 'government') as these can distract from your overall message.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and shows awareness of the key issues related to obesity and health.
task achievement
You propose practical solutions aimed at improving the situation, demonstrating critical thinking about public policy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • processed foods
  • fast food
  • lifestyle choices
  • nutrition
  • health outcomes
  • physical activity
  • socioeconomic factors
  • education
  • preventive measures
  • public health campaigns
  • fitness solutions
  • community programs
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