IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
These days, a group of people
work
Use synonyms
 remotely at their houses with the new technology devices, so a group of people think that
this
Linking Words
 trend has just pros for employees, not the companies. I do not subscribe to
this
Linking Words
 perspective inasmuch as
this
Linking Words
 development has a positive effect on not only worker
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and the economy but
also
Linking Words
 the corporation's financial status.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, when people
work
Use synonyms
 in their house, they do not waste too much time and money on commuting to their workplace.
In other words
Linking Words
, telecommuting creates a chance for a workforce to
work
Use synonyms
 flexibly and invest their travelling time in doing their personal
work
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as household chores.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can save money which they spend on travelling to buy several items that they need.
As a result
Linking Words
, these factors lead to increased job satisfaction and boost workers' productivity in their occupations.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the fact
that is
Linking Words
 really important is that
this
Linking Words
 method of working has a lot of economic impact on employers on account of the fact that in
this
Linking Words
 way managers do not need to spend a majority of their budgets on building offices and their costs like utilities, fixing, and so on.
Additionally
Linking Words
, various employees, who are very professional and can enhance business efficiency, across the world are obtained by employers.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, telecommuting provides the best opportunity for both employees and employers because workers's life levels are increased by saving their time and money for different activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, managers can reduce their office costs and find skilled workforce across the world to improve their efficiency.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline the benefits for both employees and employers in the introduction to create a balanced perspective from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitions between points to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively, ensuring a smoother flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, especially when discussing the financial benefits to employers.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion that is maintained throughout the essay, which is important for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your structure is generally logical, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • retention
  • productivity
  • operational costs
  • bottom line
  • geographic location
  • absenteeism
  • global talent pool
  • collaboration
  • communication efficiency
  • remote work
  • employee performance
  • cost savings
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