Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Even though, the general opinion regarding public health improvement indicates expanding sports amenities as more people would be able to benefit from them, I agree with the latter point of view, that additional actions are necessary to cater for the maximum benefit of the population. On the one hand, there seems to be a consensus that a wider availability of recreational infrastructures will positively impact the health of numerous individuals.
However
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,
this
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mechanism might work for a region that already consists of healthy people, it might not have a similar
affect
Replace the word
effect
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in another region.
For instance
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, developing countries which suffer from rapid population growth and stagnant economic progression might not be able to develop multiple facilities across their state.
As a result
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, not everyone would be able to benefit from
this
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.
On the other hand
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, it is suggested that alternatives should be employed to cover the greater populous.
This
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approach provides a more realistic view of how to handle
this
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challenge of physical
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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. To illustrate, the authorities in collaboration with specialized institutions can tailor an awareness campaign that focuses on spreading essential information.
Consequently
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,
this
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educational drive can reach above and beyond without being a strain on the national budget. In conclusion, it is perceived that an expansion in facilities is likely to serve additional people and provide for an enhanced living experience, but I agree with the idea that supplementary methods are essential to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fitness goals from a holistic point of view.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points, especially in the discussion about the impact of limited facilities in developing countries.
coherence and cohesion
Enhancing the transitions between your paragraphs could help improve the overall flow of your argument, making it easier for the reader to follow your logic.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance in response to the prompt, demonstrating good task completion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion summarizes your main point well, reinforcing your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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