IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most humans argue that keeping
animals
Use synonyms
 in
zoos
Use synonyms
 is unethical, a part of humans contend that
zoos
Use synonyms
 serve valuable purposes as both a form of entertainment and a means of ecological conservation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will shed light on
this
Linking Words
 issue in terms of both benefits
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and drawbacks and share my opinion. On the one hand, there are two reasons why some people feel that
animals
Use synonyms
 should not be kept in
zoos
Use synonyms
. The first one is that
animals
Use synonyms
 lack natural habits,
animals
Use synonyms
 in
zoos
Use synonyms
 are confined to enclosures that are vastly smaller and less diverse than their natural environments.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a lack of space, exercise, and opportunities to engage in natural behaviours like hunting, foraging, and extensive migration. Another reason is that
zoos
Use synonyms
 and conservation facilities do engage in various breeding programs, using the term illegal implies a violation of law, which is a serious claim that would require specific evidence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I side with those who think that
zoos
Use synonyms
 offer both amusement and significant ecological benefits.
First,
Linking Words
zoos
Use synonyms
 facilitate human proximity to nature, allowing individuals to observe various wild
animals
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as tigers and leopards, that are typically only seen on television.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if children visit
zoos
Use synonyms
, they are provided with firsthand experiences of
animals
Use synonyms
 they usually only hear about or read about in storybooks. Another thing is that
zoos
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in species control, particularly for endangered or critically endangered
animals
Use synonyms
. Through captive breeding programs,
zoos
Use synonyms
 can maintain genetically diverse populations, acting as arks to prevent extinction when wild populations are at risk. The goal is often reintroduction into their natural habitats once threats are mitigated. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people say that wild
animals
Use synonyms
 should not be kept in
zoos
Use synonyms
, I am of the opinion that it is not a good idea and that
Zoos
Use synonyms
 play a crucial role in conservation and offer numerous benefits to the world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and your opinion more directly.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points.
task response
Add specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially in the paragraph that argues against zoos.
task response
You clearly express your opinion in the conclusion, asserting the importance of zoos for conservation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
What to do next:
Look at other essays: