IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?

There
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 an increase in social
problems
Use synonyms
 involving teenagers in recent years in many countries, and many people believe that
this
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 modern lifestyles, because parents spend more and more
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and have less
time
Use synonyms
 to supervise their children. In
this
Linking Words
artical
Correct your spelling
article
, I will
explaine
Correct your spelling
explain
 my opinion about the above question.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a huge social
problems
Use synonyms
 in kids
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many reasons,
beside
Replace the word
besides
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 the modern lifestyles and not only because the parents spend more and more
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and have less
time
Use synonyms
 to supervise their children, we
use to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know that parents spend
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
, since a long
time
Use synonyms
 ago, it is not a new thing, most of the mothers and fathers are
work
Use synonyms
, and it is not the main reason if we think about it clearly.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
 take the recent
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
 lifestyles, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 huge
problems
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 ways of living,
for example
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 they spend on screens,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending
time
Use synonyms
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 outside
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 in lately of 2019 to 2021, it
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
 a lot of social
problems
Use synonyms
, even
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults. In
conclud
Correct your spelling
conclude
concluding
, I believe that the social
problems
Use synonyms
 involving teenagers, and it is true, but as I said above
this
Linking Words
 is not the main reason, and there
id
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 reasons to think about.

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task achievement
Make sure to stay on topic and answer the question clearly. Each point should relate to the question about modern lifestyles and social problems.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay. Use clear connections between ideas and sentences.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points. This will give more depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion, which is important for the task.
task achievement
You attempt to address different aspects of teenagers' lives, like screen time and the pandemic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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