IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, formal exams are used to assess students' abilities and to judge the success of their education. what are the advantages and disadvantages of using formal exams to assess students'abilities ? Do you think the benefits of using formal exams outweigh the drawbacks?

There is no doubt, that after completing semesters
students
Use synonyms
 have to appear in the formal
exams
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 so that their abilities can be judged by the schools or colleges.
As a result
Linking Words
 , they become eligible to get
enrol
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enrolled
show examples
 in higher
educations
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education
show examples
.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
tendancy
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tendency
 of
assesing
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assessing
students
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 is more advantageous, it becomes helpful for
students
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 to get success in their education. It is often claimed that
,
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apply
show examples
students
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 have to sit in
exams
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 so that they can show their
potentials
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potential
show examples
 what they have learnt in their classes. Appearing in
exams
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also
Linking Words
 motivate them to achieve gold medals, and
troffies
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trophies
 in the prize distribution function. To cite an example , I
remembered
Wrong verb form
remember
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 there
were
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was
show examples
number
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a number
the number
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 of
competition
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competitions
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such
Linking Words
 as
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the quiz
show examples
quiz
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quizzes
show examples
 and so on, are used to
held
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hold
show examples
 in our colleges by which
students
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 were examined.
As a result
Linking Words
 , it creates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of accomplishment and
appreaciation
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appreciation
.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, learners who
passed
Wrong verb form
pass
show examples
 their examination with flying
colors
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colours
show examples
, there
are
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is
show examples
 more
chance
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chances
show examples
 to get
an
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apply
show examples
admission
in
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to
show examples
 universities as compared to the other
students
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. Eventually, they will get more
oppurtunities
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opportunities
 in
job
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the job
a job
show examples
 search. on the other side, there could be minor drawbacks of
assesing
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assessing
students
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 through annual
exams
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 because sometimes they could not perform well
due to
Linking Words
excessive
Correct article usage
the excessive
show examples
 burden of studies, mental stress and lack of
relaxaxtion
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relaxation
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are some pupils who are not
intrested
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interested
 in learning academic subjects
such
Linking Words
 as maths and science but they can accomplish success in other fields like sports and music. To demonstrate it , there might be
students
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 who are less likely to pay attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 traditional subjects but they might have the
potentials
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potential
show examples
 to become a
millionaire
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millionaires
show examples
 in their lives. To
recapetulate
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recapitulate
, examining learners through formal
exams
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 can be more advantageous yet its drawbacks cannot be fully neglected. I believe that there should be
limited
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a limited
show examples
 syllabus assigned to the
students
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 so that they do not have
abundance
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an abundance
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 of
burden
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the burden
show examples
 of the examination.

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task response
Make sure your thesis statement clearly shows your main point about formal exams in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Add clearer links between your ideas to help the reader follow your argument better.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your points, like mentioning specific subjects or skills to illustrate your ideas.
task response
You highlighted both advantages and disadvantages of formal exams well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points nicely, showing your overall opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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