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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some parts of the world, a large number of mature people are living without separating from their
parents
Use synonyms
 after obtaining a degree or even commencing a career path.
Although
Linking Words
 there are certain benefits, the drawbacks of
this
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 trend significantly outweigh the advantages.
To begin
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 with, more young individuals are prioritising living with their
parents
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 after stepping into adulthood over starting a new independent
life
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.
This
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 is mainly because they do not need to take basic domestic responsibilities,
such
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 as cooking, cleaning, and managing a budget.
Consequently
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, these individuals struggle to live on their own and adapt to real-
life
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 challenges when they eventually leave home. To illustrate, a person who has lived with his
parents
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 until 30 is more likely to have difficulties making important decisions independently, largely
due to
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 a lack of confidence and experience.
Moreover
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, those who do so tend to struggle when it comes to finding a partner for themselves, because everything in their lives has been chosen by their
parents
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.
On the other hand
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, living with
parents
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 offers some financial benefits,
such
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 as covering the rent for the house, utility bills, and grocery shopping. People living with their
parents
Use synonyms
 can fully focus on their studies or careers without any household responsibilities.
Furthermore
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, it is a common case that staying with
parents
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 and taking care of them is seen as the main mission of
life
Use synonyms
, which prevents elders from social isolation. What is more, remaining with
parents
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 gives youth a chance to save up money for a new house, as prices are considerably high these days. In conclusion, even though staying with
parents
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 after graduating from university or even after starting a career grants several advantages, experiencing an independent
life
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 still remains essential, as facing
life
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 lessons definitely makes individuals mature.
Overall
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, the disadvantages of living with
parents
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 clearly outweigh the advantages.

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task response
For task response: your answer is clear, but add one more direct reason why the bad side is stronger than the good side.
task response
For task response: one example is good, but it would be better to add a more real and clear example in the second body part too.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a clear start, body, and end, but some ideas are a bit too general and need smoother links.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: in paragraph 2, the point about finding a partner feels a little sudden. Link it more clearly to the main idea of lack of independence.
task response
For task response: you answered the question directly and gave a clear opinion from the start.
task response
For task response: you discussed both the good side and the bad side, which helps make the response complete.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has a clear purpose.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your introduction and conclusion are both present and match your main view well.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transitional phase
  • emotional support
  • redirected towards
  • foster stronger family bonds
  • guidance and advice
  • professional and personal issues
  • crowded living conditions
  • lack of privacy
  • potential friction
  • development of essential life skills
  • cultural stigma
  • societal pressure
  • sense of failure
  • self-esteem
  • autonomy
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