Many children today are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons for this and offer solutions.

The world
today
Use synonyms
is very different from the past and that includes unhealthy and overweight
children
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.
Massive
Correct article usage
A massive
show examples
amount of
children
Use synonyms
today
Use synonyms
don't care about their health.
This
Linking Words
is affecting them negatively
by
Change preposition
over
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time and they do not recognize
this
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problem.
This
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essay will examine the reasons for being overweight and unhealthy and the solutions
for
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to
show examples
this
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problem. There are many reasons for
children
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being overweight and unhealthy.
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
today
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are very lazy. They are always sitting at home without achieving any goals.
Also
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,many of them always depend on fast food which is unhealthy for them. Fast food restaurants are full of harmful oil that causes overweight faster than normal.
In addition
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, not going to the
gym
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and doing some exercise
also
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affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
their health and body. The
gym
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plays an important and noticeable role in their daily life. There are many solutions
also
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that might help
fixing
Wrong verb form
fix
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the situation.
First,
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parents who have overweight
children
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should subscribe their
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a healthy restaurant. That definitely will help them. The second great solution is to start going to the
gym
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. Exercising
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and
work
Wrong verb form
working
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hard to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
weight.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents should focus on their
children
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and not
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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them the opportunity
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
only
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
video games. In conclusion, overweight and unhealthy
children
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a serious problem in the world
today
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.
Children
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should avoid the lazy routines that cause overweight. Sticking to a healthy diet and going to the
gym
Use synonyms
is the solution.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to support your ideas with examples or reasons. For example, explain why fast food is harmful and give a specific solution for parents to try.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas better. Use clear paragraphing to help the reader follow your thoughts more easily. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your spelling and word choice for mistakes. For example, 'Childrens' should be 'Children' and 'loose weight' should be 'lose weight'.
Content
You identified several important reasons why children are unhealthy and overweight.
Content
You presented solutions clearly, which shows good thought in addressing the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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