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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The vertical bar chart indicates information on the percentage
about
Change preposition
of
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 how many residents of five
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia who got surveys related to fresh drinks in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks. In general what stands out from the figure is that the majority of individuals went to the
cafes
Use synonyms
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and teas in
cities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Sydney, Melbourne,
Hobart
Use synonyms
 and
Brisbane
Use synonyms
, and the minority of
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and
Hobart
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In Melbourne, about 65% of residents attended
cafes
Use synonyms
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in 28 days.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 less 50% and 45% respectively. In Sidney,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost a similar amount of
people
Use synonyms
 as Melbourne preferred to visit
cafes
Use synonyms
,
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 (above 60%, 45%, around 44%). In
cities
Use synonyms
:
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 very small number of
people
Use synonyms
 bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the given time: almost 35% in both
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
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apply
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 and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and around 38% in
Hobart
Use synonyms
. In
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 purchased
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 around 53% and 50% respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, a high number of
people
Use synonyms
 preferred drinks in
cafes
Use synonyms
, rather than buying fresh and
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the given
cities
Use synonyms
 of Australia.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, cafes, coffee, hobart, brisbane, people, adelaide, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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