IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone including young people to save money for their future.

It is argued that it is crucial for everyone, especially youngsters, to save more
money
Use synonyms
 for their
future
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 lives. I completely agree with the given idea for two primary reasons. One of the primary reasons why I agree with
this
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 view is that teenagers' saving
money
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 could have a positive influence on their
future
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 goals because
money
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 is necessary in order for young people to meet their basic needs and maintain a reasonable quality of life.
In other words
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, saving
money
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 for the
future
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 may help create new innovations and greater
future
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 prosperity.
As youngsters
Correct word choice
Youngsters
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 may have long-term planning,
such
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 as building a new house, purchasing the latest model of a car or setting aside for emergencies and retirement funds. In
this
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 way, many young individuals can overcome problems like these.
For instance
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, developing habits of saving helps them achieve financial stability over time.
Besides
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, another key reason is that many youngsters should learn to manage their
money
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 wisely in order to save more
their
Change preposition
on their
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future
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 goals, as it helps develop financial responsibility.
This
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 is particularly important because it helps them avoid unnecessary expenses. Young people are likely to face financial hardship, which is explained by the fact that they need to break down to ensure a stable and comfortable life. If it were not saving more
money
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, young people may be limited in their
future
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 opportunities like studying and
traveling
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travelling
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 abroad. In conclusion,

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly restate your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and punctuation to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents clear main ideas and reasons.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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