IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

There are debates about shifting from a five-day
workweek
Use synonyms
 to a four-day one to improve work-life balance.
This
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 initiative is becoming incredibly popular among the population in recent years. Personally, I partially agree with
this
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 idea and think that it has both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantages and
the
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apply
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disadvantages which I will explain in the essay.
To begin
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 with,
due to
Linking Words
 the high standard of living, people do not think anymore
how
Change preposition
about how
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 to earn money for the daily necessities. Most of the population in the developed countries lives in
comfotable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 conditions and focuses more on family and themselves.
Thus
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,
this
Linking Words
 group of people prefers working less to have opportunities
Fix the infinitive
to brings
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brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 up their children,
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
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 around the world to learn about cultures and traditions
other
Change preposition
of other
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 people and
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
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 their
talants
Correct your spelling
talents
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 approach focuses just on the present and ignores the potential problems which can arise in the future. It is undeniable that a four-day
workweek
Use synonyms
 leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
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 production which, in turn, causes the deterioration of the national economy in general.
As a result
Linking Words
, the living conditions for future generations will worsen significantly over the years.
Moreover
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, some scientific research asserts that workers with a four-day
workweek
Use synonyms
 not only enjoy the weekend less but
also
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 are more prone to depression. Summing up, I tend to believe that a shorter
workweek
Use synonyms
 helps to strengthen friendships and family bonds but can deteriorate the national economy and even the mental health of the population.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
an
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apply
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extremely important to find a balance between
an
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apply
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individual welfare and the prosperity of the whole nation.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and clear examples to support it.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'however', 'moreover', or 'in addition' to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
You introduce the topic and give a clear opinion at the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely sums up your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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