Taking up some kind of sport is the best way for people to improve their social and psychological well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In recent years, it has been widely argued whether physical activities are the optimal
approch
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approach
to better social and mental
health
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. From my perspective, I totally agree with that claim and there are other effective methods
such
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as improving skills in
certian
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certain
area
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areas
show examples
. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the reasons behind my opinion and explain other measures. First and foremost, physical activity is
convenient
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a convenient
show examples
way to improve people's well-being in terms of social and psychological
health
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. Throughout the years sports have proved it
effectiveness
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effective
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in relieving stress and
anxity
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anxiety
.
For example
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, group
sport
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sports
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classes give individuals the opportunity
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to exercies
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exercies
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exercises
exercise
together
as well as
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making
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make
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social connections.
In addition
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, physical activity is not only for mental wellness but
also
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for better
health
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outcomes in general.
However
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, there are multiple options other than
soprt
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sport
to socialize and greater mental well-being
such
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as being skilled in crafting or music. To clarify, many
researher
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researchers
says
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say
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that
people
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if people
show examples
with limited mobility
if
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apply
show examples
they
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apply
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developed
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develop
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a certain skill it would help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
overcome mental
problem
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problems
show examples
. To illustrate, attending group workshops to learn
carfting
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crafting
and music give
thoes
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those
people the chance to socialize with others that have
simlier
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similar
hobbies
as well as
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they can express their emotions through hand
carfting
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crafting
or by playing with
insturment
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instrument
instruments
.
To sum up
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, physical activities are
effective
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an effective
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way for
emational
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emotional
and social well-being, but they are not the only
why
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way
show examples
to show feelings. Skills in areas
such
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as music and
hand crafting
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handcrafting
show examples
have proved their effectiveness in the community's
health
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.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your main argument. Include a brief outline of the points you will discuss.
task achievement
Make sure to explain your ideas more clearly and in detail. Some points lack development and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure correct spelling and grammar, especially for important words in your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between paragraphs. Use linking words to make connections between ideas more clear.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and attempt to support your view with examples.
task achievement
You provide alternative measures for social and psychological well-being beyond sports, showing depth in your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • camaraderie
  • collaboratively
  • self-esteem
  • sense of accomplishment
  • stress reliever
  • positive outlook
  • artistic or creative hobbies
  • mindfulness practices
  • competitive sports environment
  • improved mood
  • reduced anxiety
  • balanced diet
  • psychological resilience
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