IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays the media should include more good news in their publications. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today’s fast-paced world, the
media
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 plays a crucial role in shaping public perception and influencing mental well-being.
While
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 it is important to report facts objectively, I strongly agree that
media
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 outlets should include more positive
news
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 in their coverage. A balanced approach that incorporates uplifting stories can have significant social and psychological benefits.
To begin
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 with, constant exposure to negative
news
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—
such
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 as crime, disasters, and political conflicts—can lead to anxiety, stress, and a pessimistic worldview. Numerous psychological studies have shown that people who consume a high amount of negative
news
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 are more likely to suffer from mental health issues.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, the continuous focus on rising death tolls and economic collapse led to widespread fear and depression. Including good
news
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 stories,
such
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 as community support efforts or medical breakthroughs, can provide a sense of hope and resilience.
Moreover
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, positive
news
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 can inspire individuals and promote social cohesion. Stories of human kindness, technological innovation, and environmental conservation can encourage people to take initiative and contribute to their communities.
For example
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, when
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 covered the story of a teenager creating a low-cost water purification system in India, it not only went viral but
also
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 led to support from NGOs and inspired other youths to work on social issues. Critics may argue that
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media’s
Correct article usage
the media’s
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 primary role is to inform the public about serious issues, regardless of their emotional impact.
While
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this
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 is true, it does not mean that positive
news
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 should be neglected. A responsible
media
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 organization can
fulfill
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fulfil
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 its duty to inform
while
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also
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 highlighting progress, solutions, and acts of heroism.
This
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 dual focus ensures a more accurate representation of the world, which is not solely negative or crisis-ridden. In conclusion, including more good
news
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 in
media
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 coverage is not only beneficial but necessary in today’s society. It helps maintain mental health, fosters optimism, and motivates constructive
behavior
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behaviour
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. A shift towards balanced reporting can lead to a more informed, hopeful, and empowered public.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion and discusses the topic well, but try to add more specific examples to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next one. You can use more linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and sets up the essay well.
task achievement
You provide good examples and explain your ideas well, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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