IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue

Dear Mr Sam, I am writing
this
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 letter to express the issue I have been facing with the
computer
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
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 my office desk. Before
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 weeks, everything was working properly with the
computer
Use synonyms
.
Few
Change the article
A few
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 weeks back, it started freezing for five minutes and
then
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 it restarted automatically.
This
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 happened
while
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 I was on
important
Correct article usage
an important
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 meeting online and was preparing
presentation
Add an article
a presentation
the presentation
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.
This
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 happened two times after that it's taking ages to start in
morning
Add an article
the morning
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. During the day, If I have to upload some documents
in
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
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it's taking
Wrong verb form
it takes
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 longer times than before. I checked the date of manufacture and came to know that it is 15 years
old
Correct your spelling
15-year-old
computer
Use synonyms
.
In
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As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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,
this
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 has affected my schedule very significantly. I have more than ten files to upload but I can't upload them in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one day.
Hence
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, it will take
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 3 days to submit.
Whereas
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, I
wad
Correct your spelling
was
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 supposed to complete them
on
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apply
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last
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monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
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.
According to
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 me, by calling
customer
Correct article usage
the customer
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 service of
HP
Correct article usage
the HP
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compnay
Correct your spelling
company
 we can get some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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.
Otherwise
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, there is
only
Add an article
the only
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 option to replace the older one with
Correct article usage
a new
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new
Correct pronoun usage
new one
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. I look forward to your prompt
relpy
Correct your spelling
reply
. Yours faithfully, Saijbir Kaur.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your letter clearly with distinct paragraphs for each point. This will help in guiding the reader through your message.
task achievement
Try to use a more formal tone in your letters, especially in a workplace setting. This includes using correct spellings and avoiding casual phrases.
task achievement
You have clearly stated the problems with your computer, which shows that you are aware of the issues.
task achievement
You included specific examples of how the computer's issues have affected your work, which helps to illustrate your point.
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