IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? What, in your opinion, should people use bicycles less or more as a form of transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own know¬ledge or experience.

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Introduction
Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 more?
Body paragraph 1
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
use
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to travel,
decrease
Wrong verb form
have decreased
show examples
 rapidly, and the main reason why
people
Use synonyms
 don’t
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 on the
street
Use synonyms
,
increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 sharply in the world.
However
Linking Words
, we can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to cycle more.
Body paragraph 2
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 the first main reason
people
Use synonyms
 avoid
to
Change the verb form
driving
show examples
drive
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 is the
car
Use synonyms
 which
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 very
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
, fast and comfortable with everyone.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
street
Use synonyms
 which is built for
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
,
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
 in almost
cities
Correct determiner usage
all cities
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 often carry bags, laptops, or groceries, which are hard to transport on a bicycle.
As a result
Linking Words
, using a
car
Use synonyms
 seems more useful in daily life.
Body paragraph 3
Another major reason is the poor infrastructure in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. There are not enough
bike
Use synonyms
lands
Correct your spelling
lanes
show examples
 so
people
Use synonyms
 who
drive
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 can face with lots of danger on the
street
Use synonyms
 just like
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, container
truck
Fix the agreement mistake
trucks
show examples
,
truck
Fix the agreement mistake
trucks
show examples
 or
motobike
Correct your spelling
motorbikes
 so
Use synonyms
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 become so less than
others vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
other vehicles
show examples
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, we can’t
get
Verb problem
go
show examples
 a long
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
bike
Use synonyms
 because it is so uncomfortable,
tired
Replace the word
tiring
show examples
 and
get
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 lots of danger, so if we want to encourage
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, we should build more
Use synonyms
street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 and give a rule for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biker
Fix the agreement mistake
bikers
show examples
 when they
drive
Use synonyms
 on that
street
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
After all, if we want to increase
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, we should build and provide
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 better than nowadays and give them a rule which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
biker
Fix the agreement mistake
bikers
show examples
 avoid danger when they
drive
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
street
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure you answer all parts of the question directly. You missed giving a clear opinion on whether people should use bicycles more or less.
task achievement
Try to provide clear examples or personal experiences to support your ideas and make them more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of your ideas. Use linking words (like 'firstly', 'however', 'in addition') to help connect your points more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are unclear or contain mistakes that make them hard to understand.
task achievement
You identified some key reasons why people use cars instead of bicycles.
task achievement
You attempted to discuss the importance of infrastructure for cycling, which is an important point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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