Some people believe that children should be taught how to manage money at school. Others think that money management should be taught at home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is undeniable that in the present era, more and more individuals think
school
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plays a crucial role in teaching
children
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how to save their
money
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.
However
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, others argue against
this
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event and indicate parents should teach their offspring to save cash. I assert home and
school
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environments are beneficial to learning and building the experience for
children
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay will explore both arguments of
money
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management, by supporting relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, no doubt
school
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is a great administration to teach students how to manage their finances. To illustrate more, millions of
children
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do not have knowledge about
this
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event.
Hence
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, their
school
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provide them with several approaches to keep
money
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and offer their colleagues in class. A clear example
,
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apply
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is my little sister saves her
money
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every month to buy a laptop after a year
due to
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her
school
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.
Thus
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, the overcome of
this
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situation is beneficial for students to grow economically.
On the other hand
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, there are a large number of members of the community who argue against
this
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phenomenon and conclude their views that parents should teach their
children
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to manage their
money
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because they need to be dependent on their personalities.
For instance
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, a study at the University of Nizwa in 2011 demonstrated that approximately 85% of
children
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who had experience with how to use cash in their lifestyles, had creativity in mathematics Subjects unlike those who did not have any awareness. As a sequence,
this
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way of learning will produce great generations in several fields of economy. In conclusion, I am convinced that both viewpoints are essential for adults to develop strong personalities and raise their awareness in the economic aspect. In my opinion, I strongly agree with each one completely which means parents and the
school
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environment play a vital role in teaching
children
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in a true way. In fact, the government should encourage their residents and administrations to support
this
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category of people to learn in all fields of life and open opportunities to explore numerous subjects.

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task response
Make your introduction clearer by stating both views specifically before expressing your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and related support. This can help the reader understand your points better.
task response
Use more specific examples and explain how they relate to your arguments to strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on grammar and word choice. Some phrases are unclear or awkward and could be improved for better understanding.
task response
You successfully introduce both views on money management in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, emphasizing the importance of both school and home environments.
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