IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some poeple say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

While
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studing
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studying
 at different levels of education either
it
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at
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 is primary
level
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 or higher
such
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 as
university
Correct article usage
the university
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level
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 more time is
surpassed
Verb problem
spent on
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 enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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factual learning rather than developing hands-on skills. I completely agree with
this
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 notion and the ground of my perspective shall be discussed in the essay.
To begin
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 with, we have to understand why most of the students do not care about learning how to physically implement their skills
instead
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, they just want to focus on gaining factual
knowledge
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. Our whole system judges a
student
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 on the basis of
their
Change the word
the
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 grades they attain during their examination time which will
also
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 decide if they will be able to advance
furthur
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further
 or not.
For example
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: A
student
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 who builds a project for
wind mill
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a windmill
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 with practical implementation during their class and a
student
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 who makes a diagram on paper will get
same
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the same
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 grade in
final
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the final
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 examination
accoding
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according
 to their explanation during that
particual
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particular
 test.
With
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Without
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no
Correct determiner usage
a
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 doubt, a
student
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 who had hands-on experience would know better
constrains
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constraints
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 and effects of
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 experience but it does not affect their grades in any way as long as they can do elaboration during the test on paper.
Furthurmore
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Furthermore
, Universities often focus on theories in
subject
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subjects
show examples
 like business and medicine which is important but at the same
time
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time,
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 practical
knowledge
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 like internship programs can help students attain
essensial
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essential
knowledge
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 towards real work experience.
For example
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: A
student
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 who is
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 a business course can learn as many facts from the books but
untill
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until
 they work in
real
Add an article
a real
the real
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 environment they do not understand the pressure to make a decision and people getting affected by it.
Wrong
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A wrong
The wrong
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decision
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decisions
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 can lead to revenue loss or even
closure
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the closure
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 of a business which on paper
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not affect many people but in
real
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the real
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world
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world,
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 many people can
loss
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lose
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their job
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job
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jobs
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 over it.
Overall
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, I agree learning facts is
major
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the major
a major
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 goal from
primary
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the primary
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level
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to
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apply
show examples
all the way to
university
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the university
show examples
level
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instead
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 of focusing equally on
practical
Add an article
the practical
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 implementation of
knowledge
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.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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i
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I
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 do believe all
the
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apply
show examples
students must be given equal opportunities to learn both
from
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apply
show examples
cerebral to practical aspects of
knowledge
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on the organization of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.
task achievement
In your introduction, briefly state your main points in one sentence to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words like 'firstly' and 'in conclusion' to help connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear opinion on the topic which is good for task response.
task achievement
You provide examples that relate to real-life situations which is great for making your points clearer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • primary
  • schools
  • universities
  • time
  • learning
  • facts
  • practical
  • skills
  • agree
  • disagree
  • students
  • problems
  • hands-on
  • activities
  • science
  • experiments
  • memorizing
  • history
  • geography
  • teamwork
  • projects
  • real-life
  • situations
  • theories
  • business
  • medicine
  • essential
  • gain
  • internship
  • programs
  • experience
  • work
  • environments
  • useful
  • balance
  • knowledge
  • prepared
  • job
  • market
  • adapt
  • different
What to do next:
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