IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city centre. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis, and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages of having vehicle-free days outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, the number of traffic has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 some urban areas have special
days
Use synonyms
 when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned in the city centre.
And individuals
Correct word choice
Individuals
show examples
 are encouraged to
use
Use synonyms
 public transportation to commute.
This
Linking Words
 development has more merits than its demerits which I will discuss with related examples in the following essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, several advantages can be put forth to support it. The predominant benefit is that air pollution has decreased in the city centre area
due to
Linking Words
restriction
Correct article usage
the restriction
show examples
 of certain types of vehicles on special
days
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, because of less
use
Use synonyms
 of private cars, trucks, and motorcycles in the downtown area, the number of carbon dioxide has
reduced
Add a missing verb
been reduced
show examples
 which can be beneficial for individuals’ health. Another merit is that
people
Use synonyms
 can easily enjoy their street shopping without any threat of accidents. Not only that
this
Linking Words
 development is spreading awareness among society to
use
Use synonyms
 public transportation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we cannot ignore that old and disabled
people
Use synonyms
 have to suffer some problems to reach their destination as they are not able to walk properly on the street. A study by the University of Waterloo mentioned that 40% of older
people
Use synonyms
 in the community are unable to purchase things from shops in the city centre
due to
Linking Words
ban
Correct article usage
the ban
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 private vehicles on certain
days
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, vehicle-free
days
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
busy areas have numerous benefits as they reduce pollution,
as well as
Linking Words
 helpful for
people
Use synonyms
 to do
shopping
Correct pronoun usage
their shopping
show examples
 conveniently and provide knowledge to
use
Use synonyms
 more public transportation.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 change is not beneficial for old age individuals and
people
Use synonyms
 who are suffering from some issues.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure you have a clear introduction with a strong thesis statement. This helps guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize your main points more clearly and restate your opinion more strongly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This can help make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You did a good job stating the topic and presenting your opinion about vehicle-free days.
task achievement
Your examples show you understand the topic, especially about pollution and safety in shopping areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: