IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do the advantages of working remotely outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, remote
work
Use synonyms
 has gained immense popularity.
While
Linking Words
 some critics argue that it may bring poor quality of
work
Use synonyms
, local economies and
employees
Use synonyms
 retaining
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 it offers outweigh these drawbacks. One of the advantages of managing
work
Use synonyms
 at home is boosting the provincial economy. To elaborate
further
Linking Words
, by working remotely, companies are allowed to hire skilled
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force from a myriad of regions regardless of geological location. Experienced
employees
Use synonyms
, admittedly, offer
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
high-quality productivity, which has a limited appearance in
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 workplace.
Thus
Linking Words
, regional companies will gain achievement and contribute to
urban
Add an article
the urban
an urban
show examples
 economy. Another
advantages
Replace the adjective
advantage
show examples
 of telecommuting
work
Use synonyms
 is to undermine staff turnover rate.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, when individuals do not need to
work
Use synonyms
 at the office, which
occurs
Verb problem
has
show examples
 strict rules and
hustling
Correct article usage
a hustling
show examples
 schedule, the well-surroundings will offer worker comfort. With these conveniences, individuals can minimize workplace stressors to enhance their well-being. A sense of job security and opportunities for growth are key drivers of employee loyalty.
Thus
Linking Words
 companies will have chances to retain
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
 and mitigate
officers
Change noun form
officers'
officer's
show examples
 adjustment
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
. On another hand, some believe that working remotely may cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of professionalism in
output
Add an article
the output
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because if individuals
expose
Wrong verb form
are exposed
show examples
 to too much comfort, they may witness
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
disruption
such
Linking Words
 as entertainment, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
procrastination may lead to inefficient
work
Use synonyms
 outcomes.
However
Linking Words
, if
employees
Use synonyms
 show low standards of performance, they will miss the chances of receiving a promotion, leading to
low-paid
Correct article usage
a low-paid
show examples
 job or even
worst
Replace the word
worse
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
being laid off.
Thus
Linking Words
 these factors are able to discourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laziness among remote workers. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 working from home may pose
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in
work
Use synonyms
 quality, the economy and loyalty in
employees
Use synonyms
 benefits it brings outweigh these problems. Ultimately, adopting telecommuting
work
Use synonyms
 is an indispensable step toward a more sustainable future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea related to your topic. Post bullet points can help to organize thoughts.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. Examples make your ideas clearer and stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors to improve clarity. Small mistakes can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and you express it well. Your conclusion agrees with your introduction.
task achievement
Your ideas about the economy and employee loyalty are relevant and interesting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: