IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

It is widely believed that it is unuseful to read
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and get up-to-date through media outlets and
television
Use synonyms
. I strongly disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is said because TV
news
Use synonyms
 and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
aims
Correct subject-verb agreement
aim
show examples
 to inform citizens on what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is happening all around the world,
thus
Linking Words
 raising
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 on important issues.  Every 10 minutes, plenty of facts happen in the world. Take the Russian aggression to Ukraine, the war in Gaza or Trump
tarrifs
Correct your spelling
tariffs
 looming on world commercial trading. Without
television
Use synonyms
 and
news
Use synonyms
, few
people
Use synonyms
 would be aware of the state of art of these conflicts and political issues. In fact,
news
Use synonyms
-related programs
aims
Change the verb form
aim
show examples
 to teach and inform
people
Use synonyms
, often
simplyfing
Correct your spelling
simplifying
 tough facts and
this
Linking Words
 helps in fostering a deeper understanding of socio-political issues.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
 addresses
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of contents, from financial
news
Use synonyms
 and job markets
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 to weather updates and warnings that can affect daily activities and safety. Another compelling reason worth
to mention
Change the verb form
mentioning
show examples
 is that political
news
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allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 citizens to stay informed about governmental policies and elections, encouraging democratic participation and allowing
people
Use synonyms
 to make informed decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, on 8-9 June in Italy there will be the vote for 5 referendum and, without
news
Use synonyms
outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
show examples
 speaking about the importance of these and the aims under it, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens may be totally disinformed and unable to make a choice.
Finally
Linking Words
,
television
Use synonyms
 and the majority of media outlets offer
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 free of charge and they are easily accessible for all. In conclusion, I completely disagree that
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and
television
Use synonyms
 are not directly related to
people
Use synonyms
's lives because they are the most effective way to be informed,
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
 make informed decisions and they neither require economic effort.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main points. Some ideas need more explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Add more linking words to connect your ideas. This will make it easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar for small mistakes. This can help improve your score.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion and supported it with reasons.
task achievement
You had a good variety of examples to explain your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • informed decisions
  • social issues
  • positive changes
  • weather updates
  • financial news
  • governmental policies
  • democratic participation
  • current affairs
  • local events
  • global events
What to do next:
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