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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages?

It is becoming more popular for couples to decide to have children later in their life. There are a lot of factors as to why
this
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 is becoming a trend at present, and it will be discussed
further
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 in
this
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 essay. It is noticeable nowadays that partners, especially those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are in their 30s, are more focused on their career build-up prior to moving to the next stage in their lives. I have to say that one reason is that they reflect on their parents’ mistakes. They have witnessed the hardship of becoming a parent at an early age. Especially, when you are a big family. The focus is more on survival.
Thus
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, the older siblings will have to work hard to be able to sustain their day-to-day lives because having a kid is a huge responsibility. So how much more if you are a family of 5
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Whereas
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, when you are in your 30s, you are not only that you are financially prepared but
also
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, you have gained more experience. You have undergone a lot of life’s challenges
thus
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 much more prepared for the next one. When you have both the earnings and the self-actualization, there will be less tendency for the child to become a burden.
While
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 it is true that having offspring later in life is more advantageous. The people who are in the baby boomer generation were able to have a longer bond with their children because they were able to witness them grow and build their own
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 as well
thus
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, they have witnessed their grandchildren and their
grand grandchildren
Correct your spelling
grandgrandchildren
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
task achievement
Add a conclusion that summarizes your points and gives a final thought.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler sentences to clearly express your ideas without confusion.
task achievement
Good attempt to discuss reasons for the trend of having children later.
task achievement
You have shared personal reflections on family experiences, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritization
  • financial stability
  • educational prospects
  • personal development
  • health advancements
  • fertility options
  • economic uncertainties
  • parenthood
  • societal norms
  • life experience
  • generational gap
  • upbringing
What to do next:
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