IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
Linking Words
 others have strong conviction that acquisition of a job is guaranteed when you have a degree in hand, a fair portion of the population believes that employers much prefer experienced workers. I am convinced,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the day, that graduates who have been adequately trained and
then
Linking Words
 thoroughly examined on uptake of that training make more profitable investments for associations. On one hand, seasoned employees with no formal qualifications are irrefutably essential. Some recruiters prefer experienced workers because
this
Linking Words
 reduces training costs and boosts productivity.
For example
Linking Words
, veterans have acquired a sixth sense of how to approach tasks, as learnt from past mistakes.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they know the ins and outs of operations, and so are highly dependable.
However
Linking Words
, know-how in the absence of social expertise is disadvantageous to administration. A very good marketing specialist with poor hygiene repels clients. There needs to be an institution that develops well-rounded job-seekers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, employees who graduate from university are equipped with knowledge and mastery
as well as
Linking Words
 other important life competencies
such
Linking Words
 as hygiene, and social dexterity just to name a few. Fundamentally, education facilities are a solution for employers as they ensure students are well-trained and conditioned for projects. Thereby guaranteeing proprietors a professional marketing agent who is always representable.
Additionally
Linking Words
, training institutions utilize their network to find jobs for students. They do
this
Linking Words
 by creating relationships with solicitors and by sending students to work placements to develop themselves as they undertake work. It is irrefutably clear that universities leverage their vast network to ascertain employment for graduates. Unqualified veterans may be preferred in some cases but after all is said and done, recruiters want a well-rounded product
that is
Linking Words
 knowledgeable and exemplary in all aspects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. A strong opinion helps guide your essay.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points. For instance, giving specific jobs where experience matters helps your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas to make your writing flow better. This will improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one clear point and relates back to the main question.
content
Your understanding of both sides of the argument is clear and well-explained.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: