IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Some individuals believe that spending large amounts of time and money to protect wild
animals
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 is more important than focusing on human needs.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
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 view, as the disappearance of wildlife can damage the natural balance of the
environment
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, and many medical discoveries depend on research into animal species. One major reason why protecting wild
animals
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 is important is that their loss can disturb the balance of nature. Every animal has a role in the
environment
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, and removing one can affect others.
For example
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, if certain
animals
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 disappear, it may lead to overpopulation of insects or plants, which can harm crops and forests.
This
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 shows that protecting wildlife is not only about saving
animals
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,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 about keeping the
environment
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 healthy for everyone, including humans. Another reason to protect wild
animals
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 is that they are valuable for scientific and medical research. Many important medicines come from studying animal species.
For instance
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, some painkillers and treatments for diseases like cancer have been developed by examining compounds found in
animals
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. If these
animals
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 become extinct, we may lose the chance to find future cures.
Therefore
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, protecting them is
also
Linking Words
 a way to protect human health. In conclusion, spending resources to protect wild
animals
Use synonyms
 is a wise and necessary choice. Their disappearance can damage the
environment
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, and they may
also
Linking Words
 hold the key to future medical discoveries. Saving
animals
Use synonyms
 means saving nature and possibly saving human lives as well.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents clear ideas and supports them well, but consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well structured, but you could use more linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and focused on the importance of wildlife protection throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, which is great for clarity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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