the movements of people making a big problems for the big cities and farms

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The changing of society to move from farms to big municipalities is causing issues in both places.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, the community needs to be near the services and that creates problems for the crowds who live in the countryside and
also
Linking Words
in cities. On the one hand, an opportunity now in port makes folk to movement to another area without noting the problem they are making in that place.
In addition
Linking Words
, the places where nobody lives make the income of the country become less
due to
Linking Words
the population choosing to live in conurbation but the countryside should have a population.
For example
Linking Words
, when you leave your home for one week and
then
Linking Words
you back you will see the difference in your house because you lift it and when you lift anything without life that means the different things you will see in the same place.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the capital has become more modern and that clear reason why the nation needs to find a jobs or better life
also
Linking Words
creates a lot of chances for the population to get what they want in that place.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the person who lives in a city and wants to earn money in that area is the correct one to get the services.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you live on a farm that means the big downtown has a hard issue to solve because the metropolis makes dirty air and that damages the plants and trees.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that society needs to move but carefully with the environment
due to
Linking Words
the services in the countries a lot of things come from the farms but with these problems, we will make a bad lifestyle for our community around the world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction presents your main idea, but it could be clearer with a more defined thesis statement that outlines the specific problems caused by the movement from farms to cities.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, try to outline a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are difficult to understand due to unclear phrasing. Try to simplify your expressions for clarity and ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Work on providing more relevant examples that directly illustrate your points—this will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
You include some interesting insights about the impact of urbanization on air quality and rural life.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: