IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the Olympic Games can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

Use synonyms
Olympic
Correct article usage
The olympic
show examples
 games have
a
Add a missing verb
been a
show examples
globle
Correct your spelling
global
event
Use synonyms
,
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many decades.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
,
Correct your spelling
an Olympic
olympic
Use synonyms
event
Use synonyms
 has
capability
Change the article
the capability
show examples
 to bring different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and people from around the world under one roof.
While
Linking Words
, few individuals
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the point of view and provide personal
opimion
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinions
 with examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the olympic
show examples
olympic
Correct your spelling
olympics
 is the only platform, where each and every sport can participate.
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
The Olympic
show examples
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
 is not just a sporting
event
Use synonyms
, it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 dream of thousands of athletes to represent their
country
Use synonyms
 at
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 level and showcase
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 ability and talent that they have,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
worked for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
since
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age.
For instance
Linking Words
, Usain Bold, a world
champian
Correct your spelling
champion
show examples
 runner,
who has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
won four gold medals for his
country
Use synonyms
 called Jamaica, before him
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieved
show examples
 these medals, Jamaica was very much an unknown island in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, today it has become
tourist
Add an article
a tourist
show examples
 attraction, only because of these famous
Use synonyms
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
 athletes.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
players
Use synonyms
, citizens
also
Linking Words
 take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pride in their
players
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 watching them on television and representing their national flag at the highest level.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to discuss the given statement about
olymic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
 is a
waste
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
, is totally baseless, as, people who
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 it is
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
, lack knowledge in
various
Change the article
a various
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
, particularly in sports administration. On top of that,
to host
Change the verb form
hosting
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
Use synonyms
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
 in any
country
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
requires
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of budget and good infrastructure within
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
, it is not a cup of tea for every nation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many
players
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the olympic
show examples
olympic
Correct your spelling
Olympics
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 from poor countries, where they hardly
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 enough
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 and
money
Use synonyms
 to get training and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 diet.
Still
Add a comma
Still,
show examples
 they work hard with whatever they have and get themself a chance to represent their
country
Use synonyms
, and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only dream they carry as a motivation. For them and for many
Use synonyms
olympic
Correct your spelling
olympics
 is not
Use synonyms
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, even if olymic
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 cancel the
event
Use synonyms
 to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 or do charity
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 poor countries to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 will take decades of time, in my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
 that will be a
waste
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 and time
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the olympic
show examples
olympic
Correct your spelling
olympics
 is more than a sport, it is about how much
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 a player has put
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
 reach at highest level,
also
Linking Words
, the sentiments and emotions that are attached from the spectators toward their
players
Use synonyms
, who are representing their
country
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Make sure to check grammar and spelling before finishing your essay. Small mistakes can affect the overall impression.
structure
Try to separate your points into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should cover one main idea for better flow.
content
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. This will help make your arguments stronger and clearer.
content
You clearly stated both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion essays.
content
You provided a personal opinion at the end, which is important for completing the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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