Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
recent time, the
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
taking care of
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation has been a topical issue since some people argued that young people
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
take care of their older families
due to
Linking Words
incapability
Correct pronoun usage
their incapability
show examples
in handling
Change preposition
to handle
show examples
themselves. In response to
this
Linking Words
perspective, I thoroughly agree with the aforementioned argument as
this
Linking Words
will give benefits
due to
Linking Words
their welfare. Talking about the positive development for the youth, giving a hand
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
relatives will boost energy for being productive.
This
Linking Words
is because
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of healthcare for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
is pricey, with a frequent consultation
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
doctors and some medicines to consume
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a daily basis.
In addition
Linking Words
, a healthier lifestyle will be adopted by them, by
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nutrients
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
suitable for a
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
age,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
to maintain body fitness from getting chronic diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can be well informed and prepare themselves to form a healthier person. Moving to the beneficial impacts for the one
will
Correct pronoun usage
who will
show examples
be supported,
this
Linking Words
action leads to
level
Wrong verb form
levelling
show examples
up the older individuals’ mental and physical health.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nurturing parents will maintain their mental well-being because they can spend time with their nuclear families without feeling alone.
Next,
Linking Words
the physical condition can be monitored
all days
Fix the agreement mistake
every day
show examples
, so families can handle
soon
Correct pronoun usage
it soon
show examples
when they get
ilness
Correct your spelling
illness
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, physical, mental, and financial support from the youth
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
needed a lot and
this
Linking Words
will
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive impacts not only for the older relatives but
also
Linking Words
for the young
care giver
Correct your spelling
caregiver
show examples
due to
Linking Words
their welfare
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
mental and physical support.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction that presents your main argument and a conclusion that clearly summarizes your points.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your ideas, such as specific types of support or care that might be provided to older family members.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity, for example 'resposibility' should be 'responsibility' and 'ilness' should be 'illness'.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion on the topic and provided reasons to support your agreement.
coherence and cohesion
You made connections between the benefits of youth support and the well-being of older family members.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • filial piety
  • elder care
  • aging population
  • public resources
  • state welfare
  • financial burden
  • legal mandate
  • family dynamics
  • moral responsibility
  • residency
  • integrity
  • dependency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: