IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 era, law and rules are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.The most crucial part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 is
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and they can controlled well if we are covered with laws and rules.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
boundries
Correct your spelling
boundaries
 are
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for us to live in a
society
Use synonyms
 and
for functioning
Change preposition
to function
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
efficiently.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, laws can protect us from being
victim
Fix the agreement mistake
victims
show examples
 of
crime
Use synonyms
.People will think twice before
commit
Change the verb form
committing
show examples
 any
crime
Use synonyms
 if there is efficient
implimentation
Correct your spelling
implementation
 of laws and rules.If criminals are not punished well after
Add a missing verb
being proved
show examples
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 guilty
then
Linking Words
 people will think committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 is not a big deal.If
Use synonyms
example
Add an article
the example
show examples
 was set for unlawful
then
Linking Words
 people
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 not do whatever they wanted to do.
For
Linking Words
Use synonyms
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 criminal of
26/11
Correct article usage
the 26/11
show examples
 Mumbai
atteck
Correct your spelling
attack
 named
kasab
Change the capitalization
Kasab
show examples
 was hanged.
This
Linking Words
 sets
Use synonyms
example
Add an article
an example
the example
show examples
 for criminals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, police or
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 is not supporting our
comunities
Correct your spelling
communities
 from
crime
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it can create negative impect on
society
Use synonyms
 and any criminal who looking
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
commiting
Correct your spelling
commit
 illegal actvity they will be motivated.As
Add an article
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 rate will
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 day by day.And
society
Use synonyms
 will start feeling unsafe.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, Times of
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 Research 2020 says that where police
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not
oprate
Correct your spelling
operate
operated
 correctly those
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 or
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other states. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, we can say police and courts and their judgments
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in controlling
lawful
Correct article usage
a lawful
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and
also
Linking Words
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 from
crime
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. This will help the reader understand your viewpoint right away.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical way. Use paragraphs for each main point and make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Use more specific details and examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work for spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'comunities' should be 'communities' and 'impect' should be 'impact.'
task achievement
You made a valid point about the importance of laws in deterring crime. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The use of a specific example, such as the case of Kasab, strengthens your argument. It makes your point more real and relatable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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