IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To wat extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is widely believed that individuals have a wide range of options nowadays.
This
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 can be illustrated by the vast number of educational courses, career choices, and even
life
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 preferences available to
people
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 compared to the past. I completely agree with
this
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 notion, and the grounds of my perspective shall be discussed in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, one clear example of having many choices is when choosing where to live.
People
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 can decide based on safety, affordability, proximity to work, or even lifestyle preferences.
Additionally
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, having a variety of opportunities is
also
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 seen in higher education.
For example
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, nowadays universities offer a wide variety of majors, which allows students to choose what suits their interests and the job market.
Moreover
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, transportation has an abundance of alternatives.
For instance
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, some
people
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 prefer to own cars,
while
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 others choose to use public transport
such
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 as the metro or buses.
Furthermore
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, employees today have more freedom to change their job location based on factors like the local climate or the quality of the work environment.
For example
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, if a workplace becomes toxic or stressful, many workers have the
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
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 to seek better opportunities
elsewhere
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.
This
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 reflects how modern
life
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 offers
people
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 greater flexibility and more options than ever before. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 modern
life
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 presents individuals with a wide range of choices in areas
such
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 as housing, education, transportation, and work,
while
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this
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 may be overwhelming for some, I believe it ultimately empowers
people
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 to make decisions that align with their goals, preferences, and lifestyle. As society continues to advance, the ability to choose from many alternatives will remain a key feature of everyday
life
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. You did this well, but adding a clearer thesis statement could help.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is easy to find. Your points are good, but clearer topic sentences could guide the reader better.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'furthermore', and 'on the other hand' to help guide the reader through your thoughts.
task achievement
Your points about variety in education and transportation are strong and relevant examples of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a good introduction and conclusion that summarize your ideas well.
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