IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many individuals argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should invest more in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 rather than construct new roads. I strongly believe that
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
 in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
's comfort and convenience in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. By investing
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 improvement the government is taking action to reduce traffic in their area. Many
transportation
Use synonyms
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as buses or trains should be options
encourage
Fix the infinitive
to encourage
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to take public
transport
Use synonyms
, which are cheaper and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if everyone uses public
transport
Use synonyms
, the highway can be used for emergencies without causing congestion,
such
Linking Words
 as for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hospital and police
emergency
Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Singapore,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the best countries with advanced public
transport
Use synonyms
,
they had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 MRT (Mass Rail
Transport
Use synonyms
) which can reach almost all areas in Singapore
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 lower
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 and long service
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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 most individuals prefer to take MRT,
instead
Linking Words
 of their own
transport
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, investing a significant portion of
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 budget on public
transport
Use synonyms
 advancement will help to increase
air
Use synonyms
 quality in their country. Many
people
Use synonyms
 will leave their cars at home, which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
air
Use synonyms
 pollution caused by vehicle
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, not only
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
air
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's health, because usually they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to walk to
nearest
Correct article usage
the nearest
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 terminal or station.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Japan, because they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good public
transportation
Use synonyms
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, cities have fresh and clean
air
Use synonyms
, and there are numerous elderly who can still walk easily and work since they have to take a long walk to
station
Add an article
the station
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their young
aged
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 may feel building new roads is essential rather than public
transport
Use synonyms
 advancement.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that focusing on public
transport
Use synonyms
 is a positive development for individuals productivity, money saving, and their health.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details.
task response
Make sure to state your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion. It will help readers understand your main point better.
task response
Use more examples or details to support your ideas. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You have good examples to support your points, such as Singapore and Japan. This helps to make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear position, showing that you agree with investing in public transport. This is important for a strong argument.
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