IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In Africa, many adults beat their children when they misbehave and this is wrong. Do you agree or disagree?

Many parents in third-world countries still scold and flog their
children
Use synonyms
 anytime they behave inappropriately.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
children
Use synonyms
 are still developing and are unaware of what they are doing and rehabilitation is a better option. The first reason why it is wrong to beat
children
Use synonyms
 when they offend is that they are young
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 not know right from wrong. It is not acceptable to inflict wounds on
children
Use synonyms
 and maltreat them because many of them are unaware of the consequences of their actions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they become more stubborn and into themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study in Nigeria reports that many teenagers have become rebellious
due to
Linking Words
 excessive flogging by their parents.

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to write a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should state your opinion clearly and your conclusion should summarize your main points.
logical structure
Try to use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'for example' to help the flow of your ideas. This will make your writing more organized and easier to follow.
supported main points
Provide more examples to support your points. More real-life examples or studies can make your argument stronger.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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